My Blog

A blabberfest of run-on emotions and exaggerations whispers of doubt and shouts of twentysomethings angst of thanks of unrequited regrets dreams and more, more dharma more spazz more jazz more of the stark ugly thoughts of the half truths and starry wide wants, of feeling and touch, of nothing at all. Of me.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

attempts to fan the flames

“josh, after you make enough $$ to pay of your school debt, will you be free? you are too beautiful to hold yourself captive in a game that is not sincere to your heart. choose a different game. sincerity in thought, word, and action ...” Back to this. It’s always back to this. What’s in loving hating living breathing learning. Kaput. [twenty minute splayed at work] I wanna do the right thing if the right thing means I won’t need ya – It’s only cause of this, of this only cause it hurts. Tear a bullet through it all, rip down my sky Cause all I’m waiting for is the word I wanna be what you want me to be but why does it come down to me. We’re all talk but talking is all I wanna do, I’m leaving tomorrow, leaving this place this time Flying on a plane, going insane, cause it’s just us two Cause messing up aint hard if all I can really see is me Losing my mind, going in circles it’s all cliched But I’m running to you anyways cause you’re a fake Cause they all don’t know what they don’t mean to say C: It’s all really loud in here And I can’t hear anything Cause you, you’re so clear [dear] Wanna be free and it’s crazy I’m all that’s left of me

It's not about faith or luck or joy or hope or truth. Cause truth endures luck and luck receives meaning from faith and borrows the memory of joy and well, joy revels in luck and luck, well, what is truth if not lucky - if not?